quotes.md (20557B)
1 --- 2 title: Quotes 3 layout: single 4 lastmod: 2026-04-07T12:06:00 5 --- 6 7 Quotes I've found in and around the Internet, collected because they make me smile. Check the page source if you want to see some commented sources. 8 9 10 >7/11 was a part time job 11 12 >Abandon hope all ye who enter here <!-- Dante's Inferno --> 13 14 >Abort, she's onto us <!-- brooklyn nine-nine --> 15 16 >A friend to all is a friend to none <!-- aristotle --> 17 18 >A little bit of everything, all of the time <!-- bo burnham --> 19 20 >Ambition makes you look pretty ugly <!-- paranoid android --> 21 22 >And I say your 3 cent titanium tax doesn't go too far enough <!-- futurama --> 23 24 >Apply the handbrake ya dumb broad <!-- yu-gi-oh abridged --> 25 26 >A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says "I think I might be type-o" 27 28 >Are we still in denial when we know we're not happy here <!-- outkast - hey ya --> 29 30 >Aryan Tupac 31 32 >As above, so below 33 34 >As mundane in texture as any novel I've ever written <!-- robert silverberg --> 35 36 >Back to the Pleistocene <!-- Edward Abbey --> 37 38 >:(){ :|: & };: <!-- bash forkbomb --> 39 40 >Be cheerful, enjoy your life <!-- turkish mosaic --> 41 42 >Be excellent to each other <!-- bill and ted --> 43 44 >Being pissed off is better than being pissed on 45 46 >Better one day as a lion than a hundred days as a sheep 47 48 >[brackets], (parentheses) and {squirlies} 49 50 >Bread and circuses <!-- juvenal, roman poet --> 51 52 >Brevity is the soul of wit 53 54 >Bring snacks and supplies <!-- red hot chili peppers - road trippin --> 55 56 >Buckle Up Buckaroo <!-- south park --> 57 58 >Bugger this for a game of soldiers 59 60 >Butter the toast, eat the toast, shit the toast. God, life’s relentless. <!-- peep show --> 61 62 >But that's just a theory <!-- game theory youtube --> 63 64 >Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius <!-- kill them all; let God sort them out --> 65 66 >Call me Ishmael <!-- moby dick --> 67 68 >Carne Por la Machina <!-- the expanse --> 69 70 >C'est la vie <!-- such is life --> 71 72 >Coins I flip land on their sides <!-- the automatic lyrics --> 73 74 >CSS is Awesome 75 76 >Curious and curiouser <!-- alice in wonderland --> 77 78 >Damnation, for this? <!-- Gladius --> 79 80 >d'ä e å, å i åa ä e ö <!-- there is a stream, and in the stream there is an island --> 81 82 >Defer your gratification 83 84 >Deus vult <!-- god wills it --> 85 86 >Diamonds are intrinsically worthless <!-- de beers chairman, nicky oppenheimer --> 87 88 >Did he have hands? Did he have a face? <!-- the wire --> 89 90 >Did you see that ludicrous display last night <!-- the it crowd --> 91 92 >Do androids dream of dick? <!-- misprinted book label --> 93 94 >Don't sweat the small stuff 95 96 >Don't worry, it'll evaporate <!-- spilt milk --> 97 98 >Down here, salt is a way of life <!-- how stuff works, salt mining --> 99 100 >Each of us fights for what he lacks most <!-- robert surcouf --> 101 102 >🇬🇧 English (Traditional), 🇺🇸 English (Simplified) 103 104 >En svensk tiger <!-- swedish propaganda --> 105 106 >Errors by errorlight 107 108 >Even a Q-tip-shaped, rough draft Pixar-looking motherfucker like you. <!-- solar opposites --> 109 110 >Ever felt the joy of karate chopping an ankle? <!-- lolnein --> 111 112 >Everybody lies <!-- house --> 113 114 >Everyday we stray further from Saradomin's light <!-- runescape --> 115 116 >Every man has his price <!-- harold robbins --> 117 118 >Every sixty seconds in Africa, a minute passes <!-- big man tyrone --> 119 120 >Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence <!-- sagan --> 121 122 >Face down, ass up, I've fallen and I can't get up 123 124 >Fan oven nonce <!-- https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/n0m195/british_cuisine_is_bad_oh_yeah_think_again/gw87i5n/ --> 125 126 >Feed me Seymore <!-- little shop of horrors --> 127 128 >Feels like we only go backwards <!-- tame impala --> 129 130 >Follow the money <!-- all the presidents men --> 131 132 >Forged bonds harm no one! <!-- going postal TV series --> 133 134 >Friends have been urging me to write to you for the sake of humanity <!-- Gandhi --> 135 136 >Fuck off up the model village <!-- hot fuzz --> 137 138 >Fuck the state <!-- drug sniffing cats--> 139 140 >Furthermore, I consider that Carthage must be destroyed <!-- Cato the Censor --> 141 142 >Geography is destiny <!-- rare earth --> 143 144 >Get used to disappointment 145 146 >Glory to Arstotska <!-- papers please --> 147 148 >Go home and look at your wife's functional knee <!-- petals on the wind --> 149 150 >Greetings, proletariat <!-- georg rockall-scmidt --> 151 152 >Guess this will be my last message. Good-bye, boys. <!-- Vince Coleman --> 153 154 >Guys literally only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting <!-- ashcammm --> 155 156 >Hail Hydra <!-- avengers --> 157 158 >Happy birthday to the ground <!-- the lonely island --> 159 160 >Have you hugged your Zords today? <!-- power rangers movie --> 161 162 >Have you seen this chicken? <!-- wallace and gromitt --> 163 164 >Having fun is not a waste of time 165 166 >Heavy wizardry begins here 167 168 >He has no wallet, I checked <!-- the office --> 169 170 >Hell is real. Heaven is not 171 172 >Hello! I've just shot somebody and I did it on purpose. I said, I have murdered a man and I want to confess <!-- Last Action Hero --> 173 174 >Here's to you, Nicola and Bart. Rest forever here in our hearts. The last and final moment is yours. That agony is your triumph. <!-- Joan Baez --> 175 176 >Hesitation is defeat <!-- sekiro --> 177 178 >Hi, my name is Adobe and I'm a professional software suite <!-- dankpods --> 179 180 >History vindicated Kaczynski 181 182 >Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die <!-- fake buddhist quote --> 183 184 >How dare you gamble with their souls <!-- sealab 2021 --> 185 186 >How far do you think I can kick this bucket? <!-- joke punchline --> 187 188 >How will people know you're a special non-conformist without a non-confirmist uniform? <!-- georg rockall-scmidt --> 189 190 >Hurt people hurt people 191 192 >I am never gonna financially recover from this <!-- tiger king --> 193 194 >I am the milkman, my milk is delicious <!-- psychonauts --> 195 196 >I can't get enough of that wanky bread <!-- athletico mince, episode 63 --> 197 198 >I did not have sexual relations with that woman <!-- bill clinton --> 199 200 >I don't know about you, but I could murder a curry <!-- discworld --> 201 202 >I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully 203 204 >If you could blow up the world with the flick of a switch would you do it? <!-- flaming lips --> 205 206 >If you die in Russia, you die in real life 207 208 >If you don't stand for something, you'll be sure to fall for anything <!-- aj whitney --> 209 210 >If you know beans about chili, you know that chili has no beans <!-- Kent Finlay --> 211 212 >If you play your cards right, you might just get to meet the whole gang <!-- anchorman --> 213 214 >If you're not turned on to politics, politics will turn on you <!-- ralph nader --> 215 216 >If you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget <!-- night vale --> 217 218 >If you were any simpler you'd have to be watered every day 219 220 >I had a plan for that rock <!-- hoarders --> 221 222 >I hate to hate and I hate that <!-- Till Lindemann --> 223 224 >I have diplomatic immunity <!-- lethal weapon 2 --> 225 226 >I know it when I see it 227 228 >I loathe Zuni aesthetics <!-- tales from the darkside --> 229 230 >I'm bleeding, making me the victor <!-- kung pow --> 231 232 >I mentally shake hands with you for your answer 233 234 >I'm escaping to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism <!-- red alert 3 --> 235 236 >I'm not a real doctor, But I am a real worm <!-- they might be giants --> 237 238 >I'm not complaining, I'm just explaining <!-- austin mcconnell --> 239 240 >I'm not giving my name to a machine <!-- futurama --> 241 242 >I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. <!-- the office --> 243 244 >I must apologize for Wimp Lo... he is an idiot. We have purposely trained him wrong, as a joke. <!-- kung pow --> 245 246 >Incidentally, my name is Gedächtnis <!-- fireball --> 247 248 >I never saved anything for the swim back <!-- gattacca --> 249 250 >In Scotland the forbidden fruit is fruit. <!-- Gary Delaney --> 251 252 >Into the incinerator you go <!-- jonathan pie --> 253 254 >In war there are no winners, only widows <!-- arrival --> 255 256 >In your opinion, which country contributed most to the defeat of Germany in 1945? <!-- IFOP poll --> 257 258 >I only doubted you up until the end <!-- forager --> 259 260 >I pledge not to spill 4.9 million barrels of oil into the gulf of mexico <!-- andrew henderson --> 261 262 >I regret learning to read 263 264 >Is almond a fruit? <!-- nailed it --> 265 266 >I saw her duck with my telescope <!-- ambiguous sentence --> 267 268 >ISO-8601 for life 269 270 >Is that a euphemism? 271 272 >Is this capoeira? <!-- Fireball --> 273 274 >I suppose he meant well, but then so did Hitler <!-- Spike Milligan --> 275 276 >I think he took his wallet <!-- back to the future --> 277 278 >It is a very comfortable hell 279 280 >It is difficult to remember conversations one has while shooting on a grouse moor <!-- William Keswick --> 281 282 >It may not be a perfect system, but it's still the best one there is 283 284 >It's called a child-size soda because it is the size of a child <!-- parks and recreation --> 285 286 >It's funny how a diagnosis can make things worse 287 288 >It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care <!-- office space --> 289 290 >It's not your pudding, you alzheimer's lout! <!-- cloud atlas --> 291 292 >It's probably fine 293 294 >It takes forever, until it doesn't 295 296 >I've got a horse called Treacle. It's got golden stirrups <!-- tim vine --> 297 298 >I want to be cremated, and I want my ashes blown in Uri Geller's eyes <!-- James Randi --> 299 300 >I would rather starve than eat your bread <!-- pearl jam corduroy --> 301 302 >Jeremy Irons lives in your garage <!-- taskmaster --> 303 304 >Jessie, you're a good dog <!-- paw - jessie --> 305 306 >Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you <!-- joseph heller, kurt cobain --> 307 308 >Just one cornetto <!-- cornetto advert --> 309 310 >Keep it futile <!-- nathan barley --> 311 312 >keine gnade meine kinder <!-- no mercy, my children --> 313 314 >Ladders are always the correct option <!-- health and safety training --> 315 316 >Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king <!-- Diogenes --> 317 318 >Leave the handgun, take the cash <!-- simple creatures - lucy --> 319 320 >Let go or be dragged 321 322 >Let nothing human be alien to you 323 324 >Let's grow old together, and die at the same time <!-- to lose my love --> 325 326 >Let's see what life has installed for us <!-- typo --> 327 328 >Like a boozy panda <!-- James Corden AMA --> 329 330 >Like with a cloth or something? <!-- Hillary Clinton --> 331 332 >Long days and pleasant nights <!-- dark tower book --> 333 334 >Magic must defeat magic <!-- jackie chan adventures --> 335 336 >Make your influence positive 337 338 >Mark, be honest. Is this not a little bit better than being dead? <!-- that mitchell and webb look --> 339 340 >May you live in interesting times <!-- english expression --> 341 342 >Meeting Disconnected. The AI detected an unexpected loved one. <!-- boy boy prison commentary --> 343 344 >Me? The one person I trusted most? <!-- poorly drawn lines --> 345 346 >Monster Island's actually a peninsula <!-- the simpsons --> 347 348 >More similar than different <!-- travel man --> 349 350 >Mother, should I trust the government <!-- pink floyd --> 351 352 >Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind <!-- discworld --> 353 354 >Mustn't grumble <!-- chas and dave wallop --> 355 356 >My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined <!-- the report of the week --> 357 358 >My Mill grinds Pepper, and Spice. Your Mill grinds Rats, and Mice <!-- Tommy Thumb's Pretty Song Book --> 359 360 >My name is Bolo Santosi, I am the leader of the revolutionary army known as the Reapers. <!-- just cause 2 --> 361 362 >My tables are so clean you could eat off them <!-- discworld --> 363 364 >No capes <!-- the incredibles --> 365 366 >NO ESCAPE, NO SURRENDER, NO WITNESSES 367 368 >nofkyo <!-- exurb1a - no one fucking knows yet, okay --> 369 370 >No kali-ba 371 372 >No one knows anything 373 374 >Not a hill I want to die on 375 376 >Not great, not terrible <!-- chernobyl --> 377 378 >Nothing cleans stubborn stains like suppressed anger <!-- Unseen Academicals --> 379 380 >Nothing Is True and Everything Is Possible <!-- Peter Pomerantsev book --> 381 382 >Nothing will be born from hatred <!-- Gesicht, Pluto manga --> 383 384 >Not my circus, not my monkeys <!-- polish phrase --> 385 386 >Not today, old friend <!-- the simpsons --> 387 388 >Not waving, but drowning <!-- stevie smith poem --> 389 390 >Not your keys, not your coins <!-- cryptocurrency phrase --> 391 392 >Now, ya don't fuck around with the infinite <!-- mean streets --> 393 394 >Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides <!-- discworld --> 395 396 >Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers <!-- motown missile --> 397 398 >Off we go then 399 400 >Oll Korrect <!-- OK etymology --> 401 402 >Once you’ve been to Cambodia, you’ll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands <!-- Anthony Bourdain --> 403 404 >One clown leg <!-- midnight gospel --> 405 406 >Only a sith deals in absolutes <!-- star wars prequel --> 407 408 >On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog <!-- the new yorker --> 409 410 >Outside of a Dog, a Book is Man's Best Friend. Inside of a Dog, It's Too Dark to Read <!-- groucho marx? --> 411 412 >Peaceful sheep live happily eating grass <!-- close to the sun --> 413 414 >Pining for the fjords <!-- monty python --> 415 416 >Play stupid games, win stupid prizes 417 418 >Please don't ask if I'm a real seagull, I think it's pretty obvious I am <!-- Scott on Tinder --> 419 420 >Poverty has its freedoms; opulence has its obstacles 421 422 >Punch them in the sarcophagus 423 424 >RAID is not backup 425 426 >Reader beware, you're in for a slap <!-- goosebumps photoshop --> 427 428 >Reduce, Reuse, Recycle 429 430 >Relax. Pot temperatures have been going up and down for centuries. 431 432 >Rosalind's a fucking nightmare <!-- taskmaster --> 433 434 >Roses are red, violets are blue, Unexpected '{' on line 32 435 436 >Row row. Fight the power <!-- gurren lagann --> 437 438 >Run Joey, Run! You should be faster now! <!-- flashgitz --> 439 440 >Seldom surprised, often disappointed 441 442 >Shh my child... Let's not do to anything too rash... 443 444 >Shikata ga nai <!-- japanese phrase, it cannot be helped --> 445 446 >Shooting stars only <!-- the langoliers --> 447 448 >Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? <!-- albert camus --> 449 450 >Sic semper tyrannis you fucking idiot 451 452 >Silver or lead? <!-- Auberon --> 453 454 >Six trombones is not a parade <!-- jackbox --> 455 456 >Sleep is Just Death Being Shy <!-- exurb1a --> 457 458 >Smells like white spirit <!-- john shuttleworth --> 459 460 >Snifters of cognac for everyone 461 462 >So it goes <!-- slaughterhouse five --> 463 464 >Some men you just can't reach <!-- cool hand luke --> 465 466 >Sometimes I work for the government <!-- psychonauts --> 467 468 >Sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit <!-- Gennaro Gattuso --> 469 470 >Sometimes war dreams of itself <!-- carl von clausewitz --> 471 472 >Sometimes you have to quit to save your life, I looked in the mirror and said, you're dying, and Hampton is getting rich <!-- Illinois Jaquet --> 473 474 >Swansea is the graveyard of ambition <!-- not dylan thomas --> 475 476 >Tart baker <!-- midnight gospel --> 477 478 >tattoos of spaceships, tits, band names, tarantino, where did doctor marten study, tits <!-- misinformed --> 479 480 >Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. <!-- star trek tng --> 481 482 >Tell me what you want, and I'll tell you if I'm free 483 484 >Thanks, I hate it <!-- reddit --> 485 486 >Thank you for pressing the self-destruct button <!-- spaceballs --> 487 488 >That anime hologram's just not that into you <!-- archer --> 489 490 >That's a maniac standpoint <!-- Enter Shikari --> 491 492 >That's my secret Cap'. I'm always tired. <!-- avengers --> 493 494 >That's not theft, that's sporting spirit <!-- ayoade on top --> 495 496 >The beatings will continue until morale improves 497 498 >The burned hand teaches best <!-- tolkien --> 499 500 >The call of the void <!-- suicide ideation --> 501 502 >The downfall of society begins with the individual 503 504 >The egg bar is coveted as fuck <!-- severance --> 505 506 >The gaping maw of consumerism <!-- jackbox --> 507 508 >The house always wins 509 510 >The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race <!-- uncle ted --> 511 512 >The mask is heavy today? <!-- calibans war --> 513 514 >Theoretical degree in physics <!-- fallout --> 515 516 >The patron saint of putting up with idiots <!-- leviathan's fall --> 517 518 >There can be only one <!-- highlander --> 519 520 >There it is again. That funny feeling. <!-- bo burnham --> 521 522 >There was blood in the kitchen, there was blood in the hall <!-- shivering truth --> 523 524 >The things you own end up owning you <!-- fight club --> 525 526 >The truth shall set you free 527 528 >The victim of a clerical error <!-- Richard Ayoade --> 529 530 >The years start coming and they don't stop coming <!-- smash mouth --> 531 532 >They only have to be lucky once, we have to be lucky always <!-- IRA --> 533 534 >They think your haircuts are un-American <!-- beatles interview --> 535 536 >Things won't always be this good 537 538 >This better not awaken anything in me <!-- Dean Pelton --> 539 540 >This inhuman place makes human monsters <!-- The Shining --> 541 542 >This is extremely dangerous to our democracy <!-- sinclair broadcast group --> 543 544 >This is my step ladder, I never knew my real ladder 545 546 >This isn't horseplay, it's a major felony <!-- Hudson Hawk --> 547 548 >This is only a test of the emergency broadcast system <!-- pennywise --> 549 550 >This meme is already nothing but a memory 551 552 >Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. <!-- groucho marx --> 553 554 >Three men, two ladies <!-- psychoville --> 555 556 >Tiny Terry loves his pickles <!-- brooklyn nine-nine --> 557 558 >'Tis a silly place <!-- monty python and the holy grail --> 559 560 >Trust, but verify <!-- russian phrase --> 561 562 >Tsundoku 563 564 >Two hundred dollar, please <!-- psychoville --> 565 566 >Two lovers missing the tranquility of solitude <!-- that's entertainment --> 567 568 >Two steps forward, three steps back 569 570 >Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without 571 572 >Vado a bordo, cazzo! <!-- costa concordia --> 573 574 >We cook bacon, but we bake cookies 575 576 >We feel alone together <!-- feels good man documentary --> 577 578 >We'll burn that bridge when we get to it <!-- malaphor --> 579 580 >Well. I guess there's nothing to do but lay here and wait to die 581 582 >Well I'm not here to fuck spiders <!-- australian slang --> 583 584 >We're in a giant car heading towards a brick wall and everyones arguing over where they're going to sit <!-- david suzuki --> 585 586 >We're just normal men. We're just innocent men <!-- cbbc hacker --> 587 588 >We've all technically kicked a pregnant woman 589 590 >We've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son <!-- the simpsons --> 591 592 >What a digital dummy <!-- yu-gi-oh --> 593 594 >What are you screaming for? I haven't even started cooking yet <!-- Life of Boris --> 595 596 >What a save! <!-- rocket league --> 597 598 >What goes on in liminal space stays in liminal space, right? <!-- ayoade on top --> 599 600 >What's her name again? - Eileen, I think <!-- american dad --> 601 602 >What's it all about then? Seriously, when you get down to it <!-- discworld --> 603 604 >What we've got here is failure to communicate <!-- cool hand luke --> 605 606 >When should I start to worry? <!-- south park --> 607 608 >Where dreams go to die 609 610 >Who you calling a stalker? I'm not a stalker, you're a stalker! 611 612 >With all the things you have in your life, are you any more happy than your dog? <!-- ramesh balsekar --> 613 614 >wOrange, Orange, wGreen, Blue, wBlue, Green, wBrown, Brown <!-- cat5 network cable --> 615 616 >Yes, even if they ask stupid questions <!-- love everyone meme, no matter what --> 617 618 >Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad <!-- aldous huxley --> 619 620 >Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango <!-- toast of london --> 621 622 >Yes, I know what you're saying, you don't have to keep asking <!-- South Park --> 623 624 >Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders <!-- the new yorker --> 625 626 >Yes, there's a TV set on at number five, it's in the front room. They're watching Columbo <!-- TV licence ad --> 627 628 >You are being shagged by a rare parrot! <!-- last chance to see --> 629 630 >You are tending a plant that is dead <!-- star trek discovery --> 631 632 >You can't eat your cake and have it too <!-- ted kaczynski --> 633 634 >You don't need a parachute to skydive. You need one to skydive twice 635 636 >You guys have phones, don't you? <!-- diablo press conference --> 637 638 >You'll Own Nothing and You'll Be Happy <!-- Ida Auken --> 639 640 >You load 16 tons, what do you get? <!-- Tennessee Ernie Ford --> 641 642 >You need to work on your threats 643 644 >Your friends are having children on purpose <!-- reddit rastus547 --> 645 646 >Your proposal is acceptable <!-- men in black --> 647 648 >Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should. <!-- jurassic park --> 649 650 >Your stories have entertained me. I will let you into the cave for a short time. <!-- oldschool runescape --> 651 652 >You sound like my parole officer 653 654 >You stay, I go. No following. <!-- the iron giant --> 655 656 >You've got razzle-dazzle <!-- sun-maid raisins --> 657 658 >You want sympathy? It's in the dictionary, between shit and syphilis <!-- what the hell did I just read --> 659 660 >You will find out what we make at the factory when you work at the factory <!-- weird the al yankovic story --> 661 662 >You wouldn't find Hitler playing jungle music at 3 o'clock in the morning <!-- father ted -->