quotes.md (20161B)
1 --- 2 title: Quotes 3 layout: single 4 --- 5 6 Quotes I've found in and around the Internet, collected because they make me smile. Check the page source if you want to see some commented sources. 7 8 9 >7/11 was a part time job 10 11 >Abandon hope all ye who enter here <!-- Dante's Inferno --> 12 13 >Abort, she's onto us <!-- brooklyn nine-nine --> 14 15 >A friend to all is a friend to none <!-- aristotle --> 16 17 >A little bit of everything, all of the time <!-- bo burnham --> 18 19 >Ambition makes you look pretty ugly <!-- paranoid android --> 20 21 >And I say your 3 cent titanium tax doesn't go too far enough <!-- futurama --> 22 23 >Apply the handbrake ya dumb broad <!-- yu-gi-oh abridged --> 24 25 >A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says "I think I might be type-o" 26 27 >Are we still in denial when we know we're not happy here <!-- outkast - hey ya --> 28 29 >Aryan Tupac 30 31 >As above, so below 32 33 >As mundane in texture as any novel I've ever written <!-- robert silverberg --> 34 35 >Back to the Pleistocene <!-- Edward Abbey --> 36 37 >:(){ :|: & };: <!-- bash forkbomb --> 38 39 >Be cheerful, enjoy your life <!-- turkish mosaic --> 40 41 >Be excellent to each other <!-- bill and ted --> 42 43 >Being pissed off is better than being pissed on 44 45 >Better one day as a lion than a hundred days as a sheep 46 47 >[brackets], (parentheses) and {squirlies} 48 49 >Bread and circuses <!-- juvenal, roman poet --> 50 51 >Brevity is the soul of wit 52 53 >Bring snacks and supplies <!-- red hot chili peppers - road trippin --> 54 55 >Buckle Up Buckaroo <!-- south park --> 56 57 >Bugger this for a game of soldiers 58 59 >Butter the toast, eat the toast, shit the toast. God, life’s relentless. <!-- peep show --> 60 61 >But that's just a theory <!-- game theory youtube --> 62 63 >Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius <!-- kill them all; let God sort them out --> 64 65 >Call me Ishmael <!-- moby dick --> 66 67 >Carne Por la Machina <!-- the expanse --> 68 69 >C'est la vie <!-- such is life --> 70 71 >Coins I flip land on their sides <!-- the automatic lyrics --> 72 73 >CSS is Awesome 74 75 >Curious and curiouser <!-- alice in wonderland --> 76 77 >Damnation, for this? <!-- Gladius --> 78 79 >d'ä e å, å i åa ä e ö <!-- there is a stream, and in the stream there is an island --> 80 81 >Defer your gratification 82 83 >Deus vult <!-- god wills it --> 84 85 >Diamonds are intrinsically worthless <!-- de beers chairman, nicky oppenheimer --> 86 87 >Did he have hands? Did he have a face? <!-- the wire --> 88 89 >Did you see that ludicrous display last night <!-- the it crowd --> 90 91 >Do androids dream of dick? <!-- misprinted book label --> 92 93 >Don't sweat the small stuff 94 95 >Don't worry, it'll evaporate <!-- spilt milk --> 96 97 >Down here, salt is a way of life <!-- how stuff works, salt mining --> 98 99 >Each of us fights for what he lacks most <!-- robert surcouf --> 100 101 >🇬🇧 English (Traditional), 🇺🇸 English (Simplified) 102 103 >En svensk tiger <!-- swedish propaganda --> 104 105 >Errors by errorlight 106 107 >Even a Q-tip-shaped, rough draft Pixar-looking motherfucker like you. <!-- solar opposites --> 108 109 >Ever felt the joy of karate chopping an ankle? <!-- lolnein --> 110 111 >Everybody lies <!-- house --> 112 113 >Everyday we stray further from Saradomin's light <!-- runescape --> 114 115 >Every man has his price <!-- harold robbins --> 116 117 >Every sixty seconds in Africa, a minute passes <!-- big man tyrone --> 118 119 >Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence <!-- sagan --> 120 121 >Face down, ass up, I've fallen and I can't get up 122 123 >Fan oven nonce <!-- https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/n0m195/british_cuisine_is_bad_oh_yeah_think_again/gw87i5n/ --> 124 125 >Feed me Seymore <!-- little shop of horrors --> 126 127 >Feels like we only go backwards <!-- tame impala --> 128 129 >Follow the money <!-- all the presidents men --> 130 131 >Forged bonds harm no one! <!-- going postal TV series --> 132 133 >Friends have been urging me to write to you for the sake of humanity <!-- Gandhi --> 134 135 >Fuck off up the model village <!-- hot fuzz --> 136 137 >Fuck the state <!-- drug sniffing cats--> 138 139 >Furthermore, I consider that Carthage must be destroyed <!-- Cato the Censor --> 140 141 >Geography is destiny <!-- rare earth --> 142 143 >Get used to disappointment 144 145 >Glory to Arstotska <!-- papers please --> 146 147 >Go home and look at your wife's functional knee <!-- petals on the wind --> 148 149 >Greetings, proletariat <!-- georg rockall-scmidt --> 150 151 >Guess this will be my last message. Good-bye, boys. <!-- Vince Coleman --> 152 153 >Guys literally only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting <!-- ashcammm --> 154 155 >Hail Hydra <!-- avengers --> 156 157 >Happy birthday to the ground <!-- the lonely island --> 158 159 >Have you hugged your Zords today? <!-- power rangers movie --> 160 161 >Have you seen this chicken? <!-- wallace and gromitt --> 162 163 >Having fun is not a waste of time 164 165 >Heavy wizardry begins here 166 167 >He has no wallet, I checked <!-- the office --> 168 169 >Hell is real. Heaven is not 170 171 >Hello! I've just shot somebody and I did it on purpose. I said, I have murdered a man and I want to confess <!-- Last Action Hero --> 172 173 >Hesitation is defeat <!-- sekiro --> 174 175 >Hi, my name is Adobe and I'm a professional software suite <!-- dankpods --> 176 177 >History vindicated Kaczynski 178 179 >Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die <!-- fake buddhist quote --> 180 181 >How dare you gamble with their souls <!-- sealab 2021 --> 182 183 >How far do you think I can kick this bucket? <!-- joke punchline --> 184 185 >How will people know you're a special non-conformist without a non-confirmist uniform? <!-- georg rockall-scmidt --> 186 187 >Hurt people hurt people 188 189 >I am never gonna financially recover from this <!-- tiger king --> 190 191 >I am the milkman, my milk is delicious <!-- psychonauts --> 192 193 >I can't get enough of that wanky bread <!-- athletico mince, episode 63 --> 194 195 >I did not have sexual relations with that woman <!-- bill clinton --> 196 197 >I don't know about you, but I could murder a curry <!-- discworld --> 198 199 >I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully 200 201 >If you could blow up the world with the flick of a switch would you do it? <!-- flaming lips --> 202 203 >If you die in Russia, you die in real life 204 205 >If you don't stand for something, you'll be sure to fall for anything <!-- aj whitney --> 206 207 >If you know beans about chili, you know that chili has no beans <!-- Kent Finlay --> 208 209 >If you play your cards right, you might just get to meet the whole gang <!-- anchorman --> 210 211 >If you're not turned on to politics, politics will turn on you <!-- ralph nader --> 212 213 >If you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget <!-- night vale --> 214 215 >If you were any simpler you'd have to be watered every day 216 217 >I had a plan for that rock <!-- hoarders --> 218 219 >I hate to hate and I hate that <!-- Till Lindemann --> 220 221 >I have diplomatic immunity <!-- lethal weapon 2 --> 222 223 >I know it when I see it 224 225 >I loathe Zuni aesthetics <!-- tales from the darkside --> 226 227 >I'm bleeding, making me the victor <!-- kung pow --> 228 229 >I mentally shake hands with you for your answer 230 231 >I'm escaping to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism <!-- red alert 3 --> 232 233 >I'm not a real doctor, But I am a real worm <!-- they might be giants --> 234 235 >I'm not complaining, I'm just explaining <!-- austin mcconnell --> 236 237 >I'm not giving my name to a machine <!-- futurama --> 238 239 >I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. <!-- the office --> 240 241 >I must apologize for Wimp Lo... he is an idiot. We have purposely trained him wrong, as a joke. <!-- kung pow --> 242 243 >Incidentally, my name is Gedächtnis <!-- fireball --> 244 245 >I never saved anything for the swim back <!-- gattacca --> 246 247 >In Scotland the forbidden fruit is fruit. <!-- Gary Delaney --> 248 249 >Into the incinerator you go <!-- jonathan pie --> 250 251 >In war there are no winners, only widows <!-- arrival --> 252 253 >In your opinion, which country contributed most to the defeat of Germany in 1945? <!-- IFOP poll --> 254 255 >I only doubted you up until the end <!-- forager --> 256 257 >I pledge not to spill 4.9 million barrels of oil into the gulf of mexico <!-- andrew henderson --> 258 259 >I regret learning to read 260 261 >Is almond a fruit? <!-- nailed it --> 262 263 >I saw her duck with my telescope <!-- ambiguous sentence --> 264 265 >ISO-8601 for life 266 267 >Is that a euphemism? 268 269 >Is this capoeira? <!-- Fireball --> 270 271 >I suppose he meant well, but then so did Hitler <!-- Spike Milligan --> 272 273 >I think he took his wallet <!-- back to the future --> 274 275 >It is a very comfortable hell 276 277 >It is difficult to remember conversations one has while shooting on a grouse moor <!-- William Keswick --> 278 279 >It may not be a perfect system, but it's still the best one there is 280 281 >It's called a child-size soda because it is the size of a child <!-- parks and recreation --> 282 283 >It's funny how a diagnosis can make things worse 284 285 >It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care <!-- office space --> 286 287 >It's not your pudding, you alzheimer's lout! <!-- cloud atlas --> 288 289 >It's probably fine 290 291 >It takes forever, until it doesn't 292 293 >I've got a horse called Treacle. It's got golden stirrups <!-- tim vine --> 294 295 >I want to be cremated, and I want my ashes blown in Uri Geller's eyes <!-- James Randi --> 296 297 >I would rather starve than eat your bread <!-- pearl jam corduroy --> 298 299 >Jeremy Irons lives in your garage <!-- taskmaster --> 300 301 >Jessie, you're a good dog <!-- paw - jessie --> 302 303 >Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you <!-- joseph heller, kurt cobain --> 304 305 >Just one cornetto <!-- cornetto advert --> 306 307 >Keep it futile <!-- nathan barley --> 308 309 >keine gnade meine kinder <!-- no mercy, my children --> 310 311 >Ladders are always the correct option <!-- health and safety training --> 312 313 >Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king <!-- Diogenes --> 314 315 >Leave the handgun, take the cash <!-- simple creatures - lucy --> 316 317 >Let go or be dragged 318 319 >Let nothing human be alien to you 320 321 >Let's grow old together, and die at the same time <!-- to lose my love --> 322 323 >Let's see what life has installed for us <!-- typo --> 324 325 >Like a boozy panda <!-- James Corden AMA --> 326 327 >Like with a cloth or something? <!-- Hillary Clinton --> 328 329 >Long days and pleasant nights <!-- dark tower book --> 330 331 >Magic must defeat magic <!-- jackie chan adventures --> 332 333 >Make your influence positive 334 335 >Mark, be honest. Is this not a little bit better than being dead? <!-- that mitchell and webb look --> 336 337 >May you live in interesting times <!-- english expression --> 338 339 >Meeting Disconnected. The AI detected an unexpected loved one. <!-- boy boy prison commentary --> 340 341 >Me? The one person I trusted most? <!-- poorly drawn lines --> 342 343 >Monster Island's actually a peninsula <!-- the simpsons --> 344 345 >More similar than different <!-- travel man --> 346 347 >Mother, should I trust the government <!-- pink floyd --> 348 349 >Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind <!-- discworld --> 350 351 >Mustn't grumble <!-- chas and dave wallop --> 352 353 >My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined <!-- the report of the week --> 354 355 >My Mill grinds Pepper, and Spice. Your Mill grinds Rats, and Mice <!-- Tommy Thumb's Pretty Song Book --> 356 357 >My name is Bolo Santosi, I am the leader of the revolutionary army known as the Reapers. <!-- just cause 2 --> 358 359 >My tables are so clean you could eat off them <!-- discworld --> 360 361 >No capes <!-- the incredibles --> 362 363 >NO ESCAPE, NO SURRENDER, NO WITNESSES 364 365 >nofkyo <!-- exurb1a - no one fucking knows yet, okay --> 366 367 >No kali-ba 368 369 >No one knows anything 370 371 >Not a hill I want to die on 372 373 >Not great, not terrible <!-- chernobyl --> 374 375 >Nothing cleans stubborn stains like suppressed anger <!-- Unseen Academicals --> 376 377 >Nothing Is True and Everything Is Possible <!-- Peter Pomerantsev book --> 378 379 >Nothing will be born from hatred <!-- Gesicht, Pluto manga --> 380 381 >Not my circus, not my monkeys <!-- polish phrase --> 382 383 >Not today, old friend <!-- the simpsons --> 384 385 >Not waving, but drowning <!-- stevie smith poem --> 386 387 >Not your keys, not your coins <!-- cryptocurrency phrase --> 388 389 >Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides <!-- discworld --> 390 391 >Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers <!-- motown missile --> 392 393 >Off we go then 394 395 >Oll Korrect <!-- OK etymology --> 396 397 >Once you’ve been to Cambodia, you’ll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands <!-- Anthony Bourdain --> 398 399 >One clown leg <!-- midnight gospel --> 400 401 >Only a sith deals in absolutes <!-- star wars prequel --> 402 403 >On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog <!-- the new yorker --> 404 405 >Outside of a Dog, a Book is Man's Best Friend. Inside of a Dog, It's Too Dark to Read <!-- groucho marx? --> 406 407 >Peaceful sheep live happily eating grass <!-- close to the sun --> 408 409 >Pining for the fjords <!-- monty python --> 410 411 >Play stupid games, win stupid prizes 412 413 >Please don't ask if I'm a real seagull, I think it's pretty obvious I am <!-- Scott on Tinder --> 414 415 >Poverty has its freedoms; opulence has its obstacles 416 417 >Punch them in the sarcophagus 418 419 >RAID is not backup 420 421 >Reader beware, you're in for a slap <!-- goosebumps photoshop --> 422 423 >Reduce, Reuse, Recycle 424 425 >Relax. Pot temperatures have been going up and down for centuries. 426 427 >Rosalind's a fucking nightmare <!-- taskmaster --> 428 429 >Roses are red, violets are blue, Unexpected '{' on line 32 430 431 >Row row. Fight the power <!-- gurren lagann --> 432 433 >Run Joey, Run! You should be faster now! <!-- flashgitz --> 434 435 >Seldom surprised, often disappointed 436 437 >Shh my child... Let's not do to anything too rash... 438 439 >Shikata ga nai <!-- japanese phrase, it cannot be helped --> 440 441 >Shooting stars only <!-- the langoliers --> 442 443 >Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? <!-- albert camus --> 444 445 >Sic semper tyrannis you fucking idiot 446 447 >Silver or lead? <!-- Auberon --> 448 449 >Six trombones is not a parade <!-- jackbox --> 450 451 >Sleep is Just Death Being Shy <!-- exurb1a --> 452 453 >Smells like white spirit <!-- john shuttleworth --> 454 455 >Snifters of cognac for everyone 456 457 >So it goes <!-- slaughterhouse five --> 458 459 >Some men you just can't reach <!-- cool hand luke --> 460 461 >Sometimes I work for the government <!-- psychonauts --> 462 463 >Sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit <!-- Gennaro Gattuso --> 464 465 >Sometimes war dreams of itself <!-- carl von clausewitz --> 466 467 >Swansea is the graveyard of ambition <!-- not dylan thomas --> 468 469 >Tart baker <!-- midnight gospel --> 470 471 >tattoos of spaceships, tits, band names, tarantino, where did doctor marten study, tits <!-- misinformed --> 472 473 >Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. <!-- star trek tng --> 474 475 >Tell me what you want, and I'll tell you if I'm free 476 477 >Thanks, I hate it <!-- reddit --> 478 479 >Thank you for pressing the self-destruct button <!-- spaceballs --> 480 481 >That anime hologram's just not that into you <!-- archer --> 482 483 >That's a maniac standpoint <!-- Enter Shikari --> 484 485 >That's my secret Cap'. I'm always tired. <!-- avengers --> 486 487 >That's not theft, that's sporting spirit <!-- ayoade on top --> 488 489 >The beatings will continue until morale improves 490 491 >The burned hand teaches best <!-- tolkien --> 492 493 >The call of the void <!-- suicide ideation --> 494 495 >The downfall of society begins with the individual 496 497 >The egg bar is coveted as fuck <!-- severance --> 498 499 >The gaping maw of consumerism <!-- jackbox --> 500 501 >The house always wins 502 503 >The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race <!-- uncle ted --> 504 505 >The mask is heavy today? <!-- calibans war --> 506 507 >Theoretical degree in physics <!-- fallout --> 508 509 >The patron saint of putting up with idiots <!-- leviathan's fall --> 510 511 >There can be only one <!-- highlander --> 512 513 >There it is again. That funny feeling. <!-- bo burnham --> 514 515 >There was blood in the kitchen, there was blood in the hall <!-- shivering truth --> 516 517 >The things you own end up owning you <!-- fight club --> 518 519 >The truth shall set you free 520 521 >The victim of a clerical error <!-- Richard Ayoade --> 522 523 >The years start coming and they don't stop coming <!-- smash mouth --> 524 525 >They only have to be lucky once, we have to be lucky always <!-- IRA --> 526 527 >They think your haircuts are un-American <!-- beatles interview --> 528 529 >Things won't always be this good 530 531 >This better not awaken anything in me <!-- Dean Pelton --> 532 533 >This inhuman place makes human monsters <!-- The Shining --> 534 535 >This is extremely dangerous to our democracy <!-- sinclair broadcast group --> 536 537 >This is my step ladder, I never knew my real ladder 538 539 >This isn't horseplay, it's a major felony <!-- Hudson Hawk --> 540 541 >This is only a test of the emergency broadcast system <!-- pennywise --> 542 543 >This meme is already nothing but a memory 544 545 >Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. <!-- groucho marx --> 546 547 >Three men, two ladies <!-- psychoville --> 548 549 >Tiny Terry loves his pickles <!-- brooklyn nine-nine --> 550 551 >'Tis a silly place <!-- monty python and the holy grail --> 552 553 >Trust, but verify <!-- russian phrase --> 554 555 >Tsundoku 556 557 >Two hundred dollar, please <!-- psychoville --> 558 559 >Two lovers missing the tranquility of solitude <!-- that's entertainment --> 560 561 >Two steps forward, three steps back 562 563 >Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without 564 565 >Vado a bordo, cazzo! <!-- costa concordia --> 566 567 >We cook bacon, but we bake cookies 568 569 >We feel alone together <!-- feels good man documentary --> 570 571 >We'll burn that bridge when we get to it <!-- malaphor --> 572 573 >Well. I guess there's nothing to do but lay here and wait to die 574 575 >Well I'm not here to fuck spiders <!-- australian slang --> 576 577 >We're in a giant car heading towards a brick wall and everyones arguing over where they're going to sit <!-- david suzuki --> 578 579 >We're just normal men. We're just innocent men <!-- cbbc hacker --> 580 581 >We've all technically kicked a pregnant woman 582 583 >We've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son <!-- the simpsons --> 584 585 >What a digital dummy <!-- yu-gi-oh --> 586 587 >What are you screaming for? I haven't even started cooking yet <!-- Life of Boris --> 588 589 >What a save! <!-- rocket league --> 590 591 >What goes on in liminal space stays in liminal space, right? <!-- ayoade on top --> 592 593 >What's her name again? - Eileen, I think <!-- american dad --> 594 595 >What's it all about then? Seriously, when you get down to it <!-- discworld --> 596 597 >What we've got here is failure to communicate <!-- cool hand luke --> 598 599 >When should I start to worry? <!-- south park --> 600 601 >Where dreams go to die 602 603 >Who you calling a stalker? I'm not a stalker, you're a stalker! 604 605 >With all the things you have in your life, are you any more happy than your dog? <!-- ramesh balsekar --> 606 607 >wOrange, Orange, wGreen, Blue, wBlue, Green, wBrown, Brown <!-- cat5 network cable --> 608 609 >Yes, even if they ask stupid questions <!-- love everyone meme, no matter what --> 610 611 >Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad <!-- aldous huxley --> 612 613 >Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango <!-- toast of london --> 614 615 >Yes, I know what you're saying, you don't have to keep asking <!-- South Park --> 616 617 >Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders <!-- the new yorker --> 618 619 >Yes, there's a TV set on at number five, it's in the front room. They're watching Columbo <!-- TV licence ad --> 620 621 >You are being shagged by a rare parrot! <!-- last chance to see --> 622 623 >You are tending a plant that is dead <!-- star trek discovery --> 624 625 >You can't eat your cake and have it too <!-- ted kaczynski --> 626 627 >You don't need a parachute to skydive. You need one to skydive twice 628 629 >You guys have phones, don't you? <!-- diablo press conference --> 630 631 >You'll Own Nothing and You'll Be Happy <!-- Ida Auken --> 632 633 >You load 16 tons, what do you get? <!-- Tennessee Ernie Ford --> 634 635 >You need to work on your threats 636 637 >Your friends are having children on purpose <!-- reddit rastus547 --> 638 639 >Your proposal is acceptable <!-- men in black --> 640 641 >Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should. <!-- jurassic park --> 642 643 >Your stories have entertained me. I will let you into the cave for a short time. <!-- oldschool runescape --> 644 645 >You sound like my parole officer 646 647 >You stay, I go. No following. <!-- the iron giant --> 648 649 >You've got razzle-dazzle <!-- sun-maid raisins --> 650 651 >You want sympathy? It's in the dictionary, between shit and syphilis <!-- what the hell did I just read --> 652 653 >You will find out what we make at the factory when you work at the factory <!-- weird the al yankovic story --> 654 655 >You wouldn't find Hitler playing jungle music at 3 o'clock in the morning <!-- father ted -->