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title: Quotes
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Quotes I've found in and around the Internet, collected because they make me smile. Check the page source if you want to see some commented sources.
>'Tis a silly place <!-- monty python and the holy grail -->
>7/11 was a part time job
>:(){ :|: & };: <!-- bash forkbomb -->
>A friend to all is a friend to none <!-- aristotle -->
>A little bit of everything, all of the time <!-- bo burnham -->
>A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says "I think I might be type-o"
>Abandon hope all ye who enter here <!-- Dante's Inferno -->
>Abort, she's onto us <!-- brooklyn nine-nine -->
>Ambition makes you look pretty ugly <!-- paranoid android -->
>Apply the handbrake ya dumb broad <!-- yu-gi-oh abridged -->
>Are we still in denial when we know we're not happy here <!-- outkast - hey ya -->
>Aryan Tupac
>As above, so below
>As mundane in texture as any novel I've ever written <!-- robert silverberg -->
>Back to the Pleistocene <!-- Edward Abbey -->
>Be cheerful, enjoy your life <!-- turkish mosaic -->
>Be excellent to each other <!-- bill and ted -->
>Being pissed off is better than being pissed on
>Better one day as a lion than a hundred days as a sheep
>Bread and circuses <!-- juvenal, roman poet -->
>Brevity is the soul of wit
>Bring snacks and supplies <!-- red hot chili peppers - road trippin -->
>Buckle Up Buckaroo <!-- south park -->
>Bugger this for a game of soldiers
>But that's just a theory <!-- game theory youtube -->
>Butter the toast, eat the toast, shit the toast. God, life’s relentless. <!-- peep show -->
>C'est la vie <!-- such is life -->
>Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius <!-- kill them all; let God sort them out -->
>Call me Ishmael <!-- moby dick -->
>Carne Por la Machina <!-- the expanse -->
>Coins I flip land on their sides <!-- the automatic lyrics -->
>CSS is Awesome
>Curious and curiouser <!-- alice in wonderland -->
>d'ä e å, å i åa ä e ö <!-- there is a stream, and in the stream there is an island -->
>Damnation, for this? <!-- Gladius -->
>Defer your gratification
>Deus vult <!-- god wills it -->
>Diamonds are intrinsically worthless <!-- de beers chairman, nicky oppenheimer -->
>Did he have hands? Did he have a face? <!-- the wire -->
>Did you see that ludicrous display last night <!-- the it crowd -->
>Do androids dream of dick? <!-- misprinted book label -->
>Don't sweat the small stuff
>Don't worry, it'll evaporate <!-- spilt milk -->
>Down here, salt is a way of life <!-- how stuff works, salt mining -->
>Each of us fights for what he lacks most <!-- robert surcouf -->
>En svensk tiger <!-- swedish propaganda -->
>Errors by errorlight
>Even a Q-tip-shaped, rough draft Pixar-looking motherfucker like you. <!-- solar opposites -->
>Ever felt the joy of karate chopping an ankle? <!-- lolnein -->
>Every man has his price <!-- harold robbins -->
>Every sixty seconds in Africa, a minute passes <!-- big man tyrone -->
>Everybody lies <!-- house -->
>Everyday we stray further from Saradomin's light <!-- runescape -->
>Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence <!-- sagan -->
>Face down, ass up, I've fallen and I can't get up
>Fan oven nonce <!-- https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/n0m195/british_cuisine_is_bad_oh_yeah_think_again/gw87i5n/ -->
>Feed me Seymore <!-- little shop of horrors -->
>Feels like we only go backwards <!-- tame impala -->
>Follow the money <!-- all the presidents men -->
>Forged bonds harm no one! <!-- going postal TV series -->
>Friends have been urging me to write to you for the sake of humanity <!-- Gandhi -->
>Fuck off up the model village <!-- hot fuzz -->
>Fuck the state <!-- drug sniffing cats-->
>Furthermore, I consider that Carthage must be destroyed <!-- Cato the Censor -->
>Geography is destiny <!-- rare earth -->
>Get used to disappointment
>Glory to Arstotska <!-- papers please -->
>Go home and look at your wife's functional knee <!-- petals on the wind -->
>Greetings, proletariat <!-- georg rockall-scmidt -->
>Guess this will be my last message. Good-bye, boys. <!-- Vince Coleman -->
>Guys literally only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting <!-- ashcammm -->
>Hail Hydra <!-- avengers -->
>Happy birthday to the ground <!-- the lonely island -->
>Have you hugged your Zords today? <!-- power rangers movie -->
>Have you seen this chicken? <!-- wallace and gromitt -->
>Having fun is not a waste of time
>He has no wallet, I checked <!-- the office -->
>Heavy wizardry begins here
>Hell is real. Heaven is not
>Hesitation is defeat <!-- sekiro -->
>Hi, my name is Adobe and I'm a professional software suite <!-- dankpods -->
>History vindicated Kaczynski
>Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die <!-- fake buddhist quote -->
>How dare you gamble with their souls <!-- sealab 2021 -->
>How far do you think I can kick this bucket? <!-- joke punchline -->
>Hurt people hurt people
>I am never gonna financially recover from this <!-- tiger king -->
>I am the milkman, my milk is delicious <!-- psychonauts -->
>I can't get enough of that wanky bread <!-- athletico mince, episode 63 -->
>I did not have sexual relations with that woman <!-- bill clinton -->
>I don't know about you, but I could murder a curry <!-- discworld -->
>I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully
>I had a plan for that rock <!-- hoarders -->
>I hate to hate and I hate that <!-- Till Lindemann -->
>I have diplomatic immunity <!-- lethal weapon 2 -->
>I know it when I see it
>I loathe Zuni aesthetics <!-- tales from the darkside -->
>I mentally shake hands with you for your answer
>I must apologize for Wimp Lo... he is an idiot. We have purposely trained him wrong, as a joke. <!-- kung pow -->
>I never saved anything for the swim back <!-- gattacca -->
>I only doubted you up until the end <!-- forager -->
>I pledge not to spill 4.9 million barrels of oil into the gulf of mexico <!-- andrew henderson -->
>I regret learning to read
>I saw her duck with my telescope <!-- ambiguous sentence -->
>I suppose he meant well, but then so did Hitler <!-- Spike Milligan -->
>I think he took his wallet <!-- back to the future -->
>I want to be cremated, and I want my ashes blown in Uri Geller's eyes <!-- James Randi -->
>I would rather starve than eat your bread <!-- pearl jam corduroy -->
>I'm bleeding, making me the victor <!-- kung pow -->
>I'm not a real doctor, But I am a real worm <!-- they might be giants -->
>I'm not complaining, I'm just explaining <!-- austin mcconnell -->
>I'm not giving my name to a machine <!-- futurama -->
>I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. <!-- the office -->
>I've got a horse called Treacle. It's got golden stirrups <!-- tim vine -->
>If you could blow up the world with the flick of a switch would you do it? <!-- flaming lips -->
>If you die in Russia, you die in real life
>If you don't stand for something, you'll be sure to fall for anything <!-- aj whitney -->
>If you know beans about chili, you know that chili has no beans <!-- Kent Finlay -->
>If you play your cards right, you might just get to meet the whole gang <!-- anchorman -->
>If you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget <!-- night vale -->
>If you were any simpler you'd have to be watered every day
>If you're not turned on to politics, politics will turn on you <!-- ralph nader -->
>In Scotland the forbidden fruit is fruit. <!-- Gary Delaney -->
>In war there are no winners, only widows <!-- arrival -->
>In your opinion, which country contributed most to the defeat of Germany in 1945? <!-- IFOP poll -->
>Incidentally, my name is Gedächtnis <!-- fireball -->
>Into the incinerator you go <!-- jonathan pie -->
>Is almond a fruit? <!-- nailed it -->
>Is that a euphemism?
>Is this capoeira? <!-- Fireball -->
>ISO-8601 for life
>It is a very comfortable hell
>It is difficult to remember conversations one has while shooting on a grouse moor <!-- William Keswick -->
>It may not be a perfect system, but it's still the best one there is
>It takes forever, until it doesn't
>It's called a child-size soda because it is the size of a child <!-- parks and recreation -->
>It's funny how a diagnosis can make things worse
>It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care <!-- office space -->
>It's not your pudding, you alzheimer's lout! <!-- cloud atlas -->
>It's probably fine
>Jeremy Irons lives in your garage <!-- taskmaster -->
>Jessie, you're a good dog <!-- paw - jessie -->
>Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you <!-- joseph heller, kurt cobain -->
>Just one cornetto <!-- cornetto advert -->
>Keep it futile <!-- nathan barley -->
>keine gnade meine kinder <!-- no mercy, my children -->
>Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king <!-- Diogenes -->
>Leave the handgun, take the cash <!-- simple creatures - lucy -->
>Let go or be dragged
>Let nothing human be alien to you
>Let's grow old together, and die at the same time <!-- to lose my love -->
>Let's see what life has installed for us <!-- typo -->
>Like a boozy panda <!-- James Corden AMA -->
>Like with a cloth or something? <!-- Hillary Clinton -->
>Long days and pleasant nights <!-- dark tower book -->
>Magic must defeat magic <!-- jackie chan adventures -->
>Make your influence positive
>Mark, be honest. Is this not a little bit better than being dead? <!-- that mitchell and webb look -->
>May you live in interesting times <!-- english expression -->
>Me? The one person I trusted most? <!-- poorly drawn lines -->
>Monster Island's actually a peninsula <!-- the simpsons -->
>More similar than different <!-- travel man -->
>Mother, should I trust the government <!-- pink floyd -->
>Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind <!-- discworld -->
>Mustn't grumble <!-- chas and dave wallop -->
>My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined <!-- the report of the week -->
>My Mill grinds Pepper, and Spice. Your Mill grinds Rats, and Mice <!-- Tommy Thumb's Pretty Song Book -->
>My name is Bolo Santosi, I am the leader of the revolutionary army known as the Reapers. <!-- just cause 2 -->
>My tables are so clean you could eat off them <!-- discworld -->
>No capes <!-- the incredibles -->
>NO ESCAPE, NO SURRENDER, NO WITNESSES
>No kali-ba
>No one knows anything
>nofkyo <!-- exurb1a - no one fucking knows yet, okay -->
>Not a hill I want to die on
>Not great, not terrible <!-- chernobyl -->
>Not my circus, not my monkeys <!-- polish phrase -->
>Not today, old friend <!-- the simpsons -->
>Not waving, but drowning <!-- stevie smith poem -->
>Not your keys, not your coins <!-- cryptocurrency phrase -->
>Nothing cleans stubborn stains like suppressed anger <!-- Unseen Academicals -->
>Nothing Is True and Everything Is Possible <!-- Peter Pomerantsev book -->
>Nothing will be born from hatred <!-- Gesicht, Pluto manga -->
>Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides <!-- discworld -->
>Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers <!-- motown missile -->
>Off we go then
>Oll Korrect <!-- OK etymology -->
>On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog <!-- the new yorker -->
>Once you’ve been to Cambodia, you’ll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands <!-- Anthony Bourdain -->
>One clown leg <!-- midnight gospel -->
>Only a sith deals in absolutes <!-- star wars prequel -->
>Outside of a Dog, a Book is Man's Best Friend. Inside of a Dog, It's Too Dark to Read <!-- groucho marx? -->
>Peaceful sheep live happily eating grass <!-- close to the sun -->
>Pining for the fjords <!-- monty python -->
>Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
>Please don't ask if I'm a real seagull, I think it's pretty obvious I am <!-- Scott on Tinder -->
>Poverty has its freedoms; opulence has its obstacles
>RAID is not backup
>Reader beware, you're in for a slap <!-- goosebumps photoshop -->
>Reduce, Reuse, Recycle
>Rosalind's a fucking nightmare <!-- taskmaster -->
>Roses are red, violets are blue, Unexpected '{' on line 32
>Row row. Fight the power <!-- gurren lagann -->
>Run Joey, Run! You should be faster now! <!-- flashgitz -->
>Seldom surprised, often disappointed
>Shh my child... Let's not do to anything too rash...
>Shikata ga nai <!-- japanese phrase, it cannot be helped -->
>Shooting stars only <!-- the langoliers -->
>Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? <!-- albert camus -->
>Sic semper tyrannis you fucking idiot
>Silver or lead? <!-- Auberon -->
>Six trombones is not a parade <!-- jackbox -->
>Sleep is Just Death Being Shy <!-- exurb1a -->
>Smells like white spirit <!-- john shuttleworth -->
>Snifters of cognac for everyone
>So it goes <!-- slaughterhouse five -->
>Some men you just can't reach <!-- cool hand luke -->
>Sometimes I work for the government <!-- psychonauts -->
>Sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit <!-- Gennaro Gattuso -->
>Sometimes war dreams of itself <!-- carl von clausewitz -->
>Swansea is the graveyard of ambition <!-- not dylan thomas -->
>Tart baker <!-- midnight gospel -->
>tattoos of spaceships, tits, band names, tarantino, where did doctor marten study, tits <!-- misinformed -->
>Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. <!-- star trek tng -->
>Tell me what you want, and I'll tell you if I'm free
>Thank you for pressing the self-destruct button <!-- spaceballs -->
>Thanks, I hate it <!-- reddit -->
>That anime hologram's just not that into you <!-- archer -->
>That's a maniac standpoint <!-- Enter Shikari -->
>That's my secret Cap'. I'm always tired. <!-- avengers -->
>That's not theft, that's sporting spirit <!-- ayoade on top -->
>The beatings will continue until morale improves
>The burned hand teaches best <!-- tolkien -->
>The call of the void <!-- suicide ideation -->
>The egg bar is coveted as fuck <!-- severance -->
>The gaping maw of consumerism <!-- jackbox -->
>The house always wins
>The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race <!-- uncle ted -->
>The mask is heavy today? <!-- calibans war -->
>The patron saint of putting up with idiots <!-- leviathan's fall -->
>The things you own end up owning you <!-- fight club -->
>The truth shall set you free
>The victim of a clerical error <!-- Richard Ayoade -->
>The years start coming and they don't stop coming <!-- smash mouth -->
>Theoretical degree in physics <!-- fallout -->
>There can be only one <!-- highlander -->
>There it is again. That funny feeling. <!-- bo burnham -->
>There was blood in the kitchen, there was blood in the hall <!-- shivering truth -->
>They think your haircuts are un-American <!-- beatles interview -->
>Things won't always be this good
>This better not awaken anything in me <!-- Dean Pelton -->
>This inhuman place makes human monsters <!-- The Shining -->
>This is extremely dangerous to our democracy <!-- sinclair broadcast group -->
>This is only a test of the emergency broadcast system <!-- pennywise -->
>This isn't horseplay, it's a major felony <!-- Hudson Hawk -->
>This meme is already nothing but a memory
>Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. <!-- groucho marx -->
>Three men, two ladies <!-- psychoville -->
>Tiny Terry loves his pickles <!-- brooklyn nine-nine -->
>Trust, but verify <!-- russian phrase -->
>Tsundoku
>Two hundred dollar, please <!-- psychoville -->
>Two lovers missing the tranquility of solitude <!-- that's entertainment -->
>Two steps forward, three steps back
>Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without
>Vado a bordo, cazzo! <!-- costa concordia -->
>We cook bacon, but we bake cookies
>We feel alone together <!-- feels good man documentary -->
>We'll burn that bridge when we get to it <!-- malaphor -->
>We're in a giant car heading towards a brick wall and everyones arguing over where they're going to sit <!-- david suzuki -->
>We're just normal men. We're just innocent men <!-- cbbc hacker -->
>We've all technically kicked a pregnant woman
>We've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son <!-- the simpsons -->
>Well I'm not here to fuck spiders <!-- australian slang -->
>Well. I guess there's nothing to do but lay here and wait to die
>What a digital dummy <!-- yu-gi-oh -->
>What a save! <!-- rocket league -->
>What are you screaming for? I haven't even started cooking yet <!-- Life of Boris -->
>What goes on in liminal space stays in liminal space, right? <!-- ayoade on top -->
>What we've got here is failure to communicate <!-- cool hand luke -->
>What's her name again? - Eileen, I think <!-- american dad -->
>What's it all about then? Seriously, when you get down to it <!-- discworld -->
>When should I start to worry? <!-- south park -->
>Where dreams go to die
>Who you calling a stalker? I'm not a stalker, you're a stalker!
>With all the things you have in your life, are you any more happy than your dog? <!-- ramesh balsekar -->
>wOrange, Orange, wGreen, Blue, wBlue, Green, wBrown, Brown <!-- cat5 network cable -->
>Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad <!-- aldous huxley -->
>Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango <!-- toast of london -->
>Yes, even if they ask stupid questions <!-- love everyone meme, no matter what -->
>Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders <!-- the new yorker -->
>You are being shagged by a rare parrot! <!-- last chance to see -->
>You are tending a plant that is dead <!-- star trek discovery -->
>You can't eat your cake and have it too <!-- ted kaczynski -->
>You don't need a parachute to skydive. You need one to skydive twice
>You guys have phones, don't you? <!-- diablo press conference -->
>You load 16 tons, what do you get? <!-- Tennessee Ernie Ford -->
>You need to work on your threats
>You sound like my parole officer
>You stay, I go. No following. <!-- the iron giant -->
>You want sympathy? It's in the dictionary, between shit and syphilis <!-- what the hell did I just read -->
>You will find out what we make at the factory when you work at the factory <!-- weird the al yankovic story -->
>You wouldn't find Hitler playing jungle music at 3 o'clock in the morning <!-- father ted -->
>You'll Own Nothing and You'll Be Happy <!-- Ida Auken -->
>You've got razzle-dazzle <!-- sun-maid raisins -->
>Your friends are having children on purpose <!-- reddit rastus547 -->
>Your proposal is acceptable <!-- men in black -->
>Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should. <!-- jurassic park -->
>Your stories have entertained me. I will let you into the cave for a short time. <!-- oldschool runescape -->
>[brackets], (parentheses) and {squirlies}
>🇬🇧 English (Traditional), 🇺🇸 English (Simplified)