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---
title: Quotes
layout: page
---
Quotes I've found in and around the Internet, collected because they make me smile.
>:(){ :|: & };: <!-- bash forkbomb -->
>[brackets], (parentheses) and {squirlies}
>7/11 was a part time job
>Abandon hope all ye who enter here <!-- Dante's Inferno -->
>Apply the handbrake ya dumb broad <!-- yu-gi-oh abridged -->
>Aryan Tupac
>As above, so below
>Back to the Pleistocene <!-- Edward Abbey -->
>Be excellent to each other <!-- bill and ted -->
>Being pissed off is better than being pissed on
>Brevity is the soul of wit
>Leave the handgun, take the cash <!-- simple creatures - lucy -->
>Bring snacks and supplies <!-- red hot chili peppers - road trippin -->
>Bugger this for a game of soldiers
>But that's just a theory
>Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius <!-- kill them all; let God sort them out -->
>Call me Ishmael <!-- moby dick -->
>Coins I flip land on their sides <!-- the automatic lyrics -->
>CSS is Awesome
>Curious and curiouser <!-- alice in wonderland -->
>Deus vult <!-- god wills it -->
>Diamonds are intrinsically worthless <!-- de beers chairman, nicky oppenheimer -->
>Did you see that ludicrous display last night
>Do androids dream of dick? <!-- misprinted book label -->
>Don't sweat the small stuff
>Errors by errorlight
>Ever felt the joy of karate chopping an ankle? <!-- lolnein -->
>Feed me Seymore <!-- little shop of horrors -->
>Feels like we only go backwards <!-- tame impala -->
>Fuck off up the model village <!-- hot fuzz -->
>Furthermore, I consider that Carthage must be destroyed <!-- Cato the Censor -->
>Get used to disappointment
>Glory to Arstotska <!-- papers please -->
>Hail Hydra <!-- avengers -->
>Have you hugged your Zords today? <!-- power rangers movie -->
>Have you seen this chicken? <!-- wallace and gromitt -->
>Having fun is not a waste of time
>He has no wallet, I checked <!-- the office -->
>Heavy wizardry begins here
>Hell is real. Heaven is not
>Hesitation is defeat <!-- sekiro -->
>History vindicated Kaczynski
>Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die <!-- fake buddhist quote -->
>How far do you think I can kick this bucket? <!-- joke punchline -->
>I am the milkman, my milk is delicious <!-- psychonauts -->
>I did not have sexual relations with that woman <!-- bill clinton -->
>I don't know about you, but I could murder a curry <!-- discworld -->
>I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully
>I had a plan for that rock <!-- hoarders -->
>I have diplomatic immunity
>I know it when I see it
>I mentally shake hands with you for your answer
>I never saved anything for the swim back <!-- gattacca -->
>I regret learning to read
>I saw her duck with my telescope <!-- ambiguous sentence -->
>I think he took his wallet <!-- back to the future -->
>If you die in russia, you die in real life
>If you play your cards right, you might just get to meet the whole gang <!-- anchorman -->
>If you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget
>I'm not complaining, I'm just explaining <!-- austin mcconnell -->
>In war there are no winners, only widows <!-- arrival -->
>In your opinion, which country contributed most to the defeat of Germany in 1945? <!-- IFOP poll -->
>Is that a euphemism?
>ISO-8601 for life
>It is a very comfortable hell
>It takes forever, until it doesn't
>It's funny how a diagnosis can make things worse
>It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care <!-- office space -->
>It's probably fine
>Jeremy Irons lives in your garage
>Jessie, you're a good dog <!-- paw - jessie -->
>Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you
>Just one cornetto
>Keep it futile <!-- nathan barley -->
>keine gnade meine kinder
>Let nothing human be alien to you
>Let's see what life has installed for us <!-- typo -->
>Magic must defeat magic <!-- jackie chan adventures -->
>Make your influence positive
>Mark, be honest. Is this not a little bit better than being dead? <!-- that mitchell and webb look -->
>Mother, should I trust the government <!-- pink floyd -->
>Mustn't grumble <!-- chas and dave wallop -->
>My tables are so clean you could eat off them
>No capes <!-- the incredibles -->
>NO ESCAPE, NO SURRENDER, NO WITNESSES
>No kali-ba
>No one knows anything
>nofkyo <!-- exurb1a - no one fucking knows yet, okay -->
>Not a hill I want to die on
>Not great, not terrible <!-- chernobyl -->
>Not my circus, not my monkeys
>Not today, old friend
>Not waving, but drowning
>Nothing will be born from hatred
>Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides <!-- discworld -->
>Off we go then
>One clown leg <!-- midnight gospel -->
>Only a sith deals in absolutes <!-- star trek prequel -->
>Peaceful sheep live happily eating grass <!-- close to the sun -->
>Pining for the fjords <!-- monty python -->
>Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
>Poverty has its freedoms; opulence has its obstacles
>RAID is not backup
>Rosalind's a fucking nightmare <!-- taskmaster -->
>Roses are red, violets are blue, Unexpected '{' on line 32
>Row row. Fight the power
>Seldom surprised, often disappointed
>Shh my child... Let's not do to anything too rash...
>Shikata ga nai <!-- japanese phrase, it cannot be helped -->
>Shooting stars only <!-- the langoliers -->
>Sic semper tyrannis you fucking idiot
>Snifters of cognac for everyone
>So it goes <!-- slaughterhouse five -->
>Sometimes I work for the government <!-- psychonauts -->
>Swansea is the graveyard of ambition <!-- not dylan thomas -->
>Tart baker <!-- midnight gospel -->
>Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. <!-- star trek tng -->
>Thanks, I hate it
>That’s my secret Cap'. I’m always tired.
>The burned hand teaches best <!-- tokien -->
>The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race <!-- uncle ted -->
>The things you own end up owning you <!-- fight club -->
>C'est la vie <!-- such is life -->
>The years start coming and they don't stop coming <!-- smash mouth -->
>Theoretical degree in physics <!-- fallout -->
>There can be only one <!-- highlander -->
>Things won't always be this good
>This inhuman place makes human monsters <!-- The Shining -->
>This meme is already nothing but a memory
>Three men, two ladies
>Tiny Terry loves his pickles <!-- brooklyn nine-nine -->
>'Tis a silly place <!-- monty python and the holy grail -->
>Tsundoku
>Two hundred dollar, please
>Two steps forward, three steps back
>Well I'm not here to fuck spiders <!-- australian slang -->
>Well. I guess there's nothing to do but lay here and wait to die
>What a digital dummy <!-- yu-gi-oh -->
>What a save! <!-- rocket league -->
>What's her name again? - Eileen, I think <!-- american dad -->
>What's it all about then? Seriously, when you get down to it
>When should I start to worry? <!-- south park -->
>Where dreams go to die
>Who you calling a stalker? I'm not a stalker, you're a stalker!
>With all the things you have in your life, are you any more happy than your dog? <!-- ramesh balsekar -->
>wOrange, Orange, wGreen, Blue, wBlue, Green, wBrown, Brown <!-- cat5 network cable -->
>Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad <!-- aldous huxley -->
>You don't need a parachute to skydive. You need one to skydive twice
>You guys have phones, don't you? <!-- diablo press conference -->
>You sound like my parole officer
>You stay, I go. No following. <!-- the iron giant -->
>You wouldn't find Hitler playing jungle music at 3 o'clock in the morning
>Your proposal is acceptable
>You've got razzle-dazzle <!-- sun-maid raisins -->
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